Monday, July 27, 2009

End of my summer...

Today is Monday and I leave on Thursday to head back to Atlanta...apartment move-in on Saturday with jammage :). My summer has officially come to an end and idk if I'm truly happy or excited about it. I'm a pretty happy and/or content individual, but I feel like something is missing from my life..whether that be friendships with girls, a man, or just pure excitement. I've been living the dull life lately...not sure why...The past two years I have sheltered myself from other people..not males..and now I'm like damn..I'm a junior..I need to spice up my life and have more fun. I used to think I could only find enjoyment from chillin with guys..but that is no longer a thought...they bore me..or annoy me. I think a lot of times we as females tend to think that we'll have the most fun being around a guy. However, the situation never goes as planned and we end up complaining about how all they wanted was sex. The most fun can easily be from just being around your true girlfriends. I lack these. Mainly because I'm a shy individual..some may not believe it..but it's true. Yes I may be different on the internet..but I'm behind a screen. While this is my real personality, I can't just let it show in person for some reason. I's weird. I've never been the type who needed all the friends in the world..I used to be so content..but now I'm wishing I would've reached out to others during my first two years at Spelman. I know a lot of people..and I get a lot of "hey!" but I want more. The problem is that majority of females aren't very accepting. They have established their circle and refuse to let another in. That's just how "we" operate I suppose. This isn't the case for all though. I've met plenty of girls who are very welcoming...thanks to someone who shall remain nameless lol...but it stops there. I'm hoping for a fun junior year..and senior year as well. No one is going to make it happen for me though..I must reach out on my own.

That is all.